What golden handcuffs? No, I don’t mean your wedding ring, although some people might… Oh no, we’re not going down that road. And no, I don’t mean the handcuffs you might be using in an X game, in pink fur or black leather… anyway that’s not gold and oh no, we’re not going down that road either.
So, I repeat the question: What handcuffs? Don’t know? Maybe my next question will help you: Did your habits become golden handcuffs? Now you might ask: “What habits?” Well, I will help you a bit more: In general I would say, your working habits!
Remember “Life in 3D” and “The mysterious matrix of life’s dimensions”? In this post I want to talk about the situation when your ‘Money’ level is high, sometimes very very high, but your ‘Time’ and ‘Energy’ levels are low.
If you have a lot of money, you should be happy, no? Maybe, maybe not…
The curse of money
Who would be those people with golden handcuffs? I can think of highly educated people, who have a job with a lot of responsibility and who are already doing this job for many many years.
They can be a doctor, a lawyer or a real estate agent. Or they can be self-employed, owning a business with their family and a whole staff depending on them.
When they started in their job, they probably were very motivated, full of energy and very happy. Their career was going well and after some years they were really earning good money. Then after years and years of hard work, after giving everything, being there, solving any problem whenever it came up, after all these years, they start to feel that something is going wrong.
Something is very wrong! It’s not the money; finally they’ve become wealthy people. But they never seem to find time to spend with their family. They even never seem to find time to have a hobby, to enjoy themselves, doing some sports, watch a movie, read a book or whatever. Life and work have become synonyms.
Is it a wonder that the batteries are getting empty and need recharging? Is it a wonder that, because they don’t have time to spend with their family, they’re getting divorced or become complete strangers to their children? Is it a wonder that they are sometimes close to a burn-out or worse, a heart attack? What a sad picture!
As in general, they are really intelligent people, they are very conscious that it can’t go on like this forever. But when you talk to them they say: “I have no choice! This and that MUST be done and who is going to do it if I’m not the one doing it? And these or that persons depend on me, or need me. I’m responsible for them. I can’t let them down.” If you hear yourself saying things like this, you find yourself caught in a catch 22 situation!
So, how to get out of this catch 22 scenario? How to get rid of your golden handcuffs?
The start of any change is… a mind shift: “I don’t have a choice” must be turned into “Yes I do have a choice and I want things to change!”.
A first step towards this mind shift is to realise what will happen if you do go on like this: We mentioned burn out or heart attack. Or you make a choice, or your body makes a choice on its own and the latter is always worse! Realise that if you get sick, then you’re not able to help anyone! Then the people who you are responsible for and who count on you are even worse off.
So, the formula to get rid of your golden handcuffs is: To do this mind shift and to free up some time. Freeing up time for other things than work will recharge your batteries and your energy level will automatically go up.
How to do that? Maybe you can find people to whom you can delegate tasks, so you have more time. Take some rest, leave your to do list for what it is for a few hours, one day or a week. The world will keep on turning! Do things that give you pleasure, spend time with your family and with your hobbies. This is not ‘wasting time’! It’s the way to recharge your batteries.
Now you have the key so now you can unlock your golden handcuffs and throw them away… far away!